Escape
by dragonprincess1988
Summary: Tim needs an escape. Warning: not happy


Tim stared into the darkness. He could see the street lights below, but they seemed so far away. It looked like there was so much darkness between the lights and himself. Tim began to speak, and knew that Dick could hear him. "I don't know if I can survive this…this place much longer. All I feel is pain. I don't know if I can make it. I think about where I am and where I've been, and all I can think is it's not enough. It will never be enough. Every time I get close to where I want to be something gets in the way…someone takes it away from me. And yeah, most of the time that someone is me. I've been holding on for so long, and I'm not sure how much longer I can. Dick, I feel like I'm losing myself…losing everything. It feels like everything is so far away…like everyone is so far way. It feels like every time I reach out, I'm grasping nothing…just air. I'm barely surviving."

Dick stepped out of the shadows, and placed a hand on Tim's shoulder. "I'm here, Timmy. I'm always here for you."

Tim moved closer to the edge. "I know, Dick, but the question I keep asking myself is, is it enough?"

Dick stepped closer. "I hope it is."

Tim's shoulders hunched a little more. "Me too; but I don't think it is. Dick, you know why I came here tonight, and you know why neither of us is here in our 'work' clothes."

Dick pulled Tim away from the edge. "I do, and you know why I came. Tim, I don't want to see you go down that road."

Tim laughed, but there was no humor in it. "You mean you don't want to see me go splat on that road." Tim felt a strong arm around him, and he was pulled into a tight embrace.

Dick hugged him as hard as he could. "Tim, of course I don't. Look Bruce will never admit to this, but we all need someone else once in awhile."

Tim scoffed. "Yeah… except I do more often than others."

Dick squeezed him that much tighter. "Tim, no one expects you to go through this alone."

Tim pushed Dick away from him. "I do." He backed off the side of the building, and pulled a grappling gun out of the back pocket of his jeans at the last minute.

Dick put a hand to his head, and began to rub his temples with his thumb and middle finger. "Tim, it gets better." He whispered to the cool night air.

Tim got three blocks away, and dropped to the ground. He started running. He didn't know where he was going, nor did he care. He felt like he had to get as far away from everyone he knew as possible. He wanted out of Gotham, as soon as he could manage. He ran and ran until he was at the train station. He was about to board a train heading far away, when Dick showed up behind him. He grabbed Tim's arm. "I figured you'd be prepared for anything, even though you were ready to just jump off a building. I bet you've got your passport, and everything, on you."

Tim stood there very still for a moment. "I was taught to always be prepared."

Dick was still holding onto Tim's arm firmly. "I'm not letting you leave, little brother. You're hurt, and we need to talk about this."

Tim yanked his arm out of Dick's grasp, perhaps harder than necessary. "There's nothing to talk about. I'm leaving. The end."

Dick stepped in front of him. "Tim, to be honest, after our talk, I'm not sure I trust you not to hurt yourself."

Tim was clenching his fist, trying his hardest not to hit the man in front of him. "F you! I don't care anymore."

Tim moved to the side, but Dick blocked him again. "Tim, I'm doing this for your own good."

Before Dick could do anything Tim had punched him as hard as he could across the right side of his face. Dick wasn't expecting the blow, and staggered slightly. "Leave me the hll alone! You know nothing. You understand nothing. Stay out of it."

Tim walked past Dick, and got on the train. Dick didn't have enough time to pull Tim back, but he did have enough time to follow him on. "I told you I would always be there for you."

Tim sat in a seat, and crossed his arms. "Should have jumped when I had the chance."

Dick froze. "What was that?"

Tim put on some headphones, and ignored him. When the train stopped in Philadelphia Tim got off, and like his shadow Dick followed. "So, where are we going?"

Tim didn't say anything. He simply hailed a cab. They both got in, and Tim spoke to cab driver. "Hi, could you take us to Xochitl. The restaurant is on 408 South Second Street between Pine and Lombard Streets, thanks."

Dick just stared at Tim with a raised eyebrow. "You want to tell me how you even know that?"

Tim shrugged. "Not really."

They sat in silence until they reached the restaurant. Then Dick got out, and Tim slammed the door shut. "Take me to Philadelphia International Airport, please."

Tim boarded a plane to London. He slept through the flight. He wasn't willing to contemplate life, and how much it sucked...at least not yet. He figured time away from being Robin, being in Gotham, and being around the rest of the bat family would do him some good.

When Tim got to London International Airport he had no idea where he was going from there, but being away from Gotham made him feel like maybe…just maybe there was hope for him yet. He took a cab to a near by hotel. Tim stayed in that hotel for two weeks trying to figure himself out. He contemplated every aspect of his life, and when he deemed himself ready to deal with the consequences of his decisions he returned to Gotham.

Tim called Dick to let him know he was coming home. Dick chose to meet him at the airport. "You okay, little brother?"

Tim nodded. "Yes, I think we should wait until tonight to talk."

Dick took Tim home, and no one said anything about his little escapade. That night, Tim not Robin, sat on the same roof top he had been on just over two weeks before. Dick landed next to him without a sound. "Can we talk?"

Tim shrugged. "That would be why I am here. Thanks for not coming as Nightwing."

Dick sat down next to him. "You asked me not to; I figured it was the least I could do. So…why London?"

Tim shrugged again. "Needed an escape, and it was there." There was silence for a long moment until Tim continued. "I really only came back to say goodbye."

Dick looked up at that. "Goodbye? What do you mean?"

Tim heaved a large sigh. "Dick, I went there to try and find balance in my life. I thought that if I got away from being Robin, or from Gotham, or from you guys I could straighten myself out. I ran because I needed to. And you know what I learned? It wasn't Robin, Gotham, or you guys that I had a problem with. It was me…Tim Drake…this skin. I'm not comfortable with me anymore. Dick, when did that happen? I used to be comfortable with me…now I'm not. I barely know who I am anymore, and I know what you're going to say. I'm Tim Drake. I'm Robin. I'm your little brother, and you love me; but Dick, I hate me, and I don't even know why."

Dick could feel Tim slipping from him...getting closer to the edge...closer to that darkness, and this time he didn't know if he could pull him back. He didn't know what Tim had done for the past two weeks in London, but he figured that if Tim was back it could only be for his family's sake. Dick wrapped an arm around Tim's shoulder. "Timmy, it's going to be okay. We'll work through this. We always do. Life goes on."

Tim turned to face him. "You're right. We do always work through it, and it always gets worse, and life does always go on...for everyone else." Tim tore Dick's arm off his shoulder, and jumped before Dick had a chance to react.

Dick stood, and stared over the edge as Tim fell. There was no time for him to do anything. He had to just simply hope. _Shoot a line off, Tim. You always shoot off a line. Timmy, come on! I need you…we need you. Tim, shoot off a line. Tim! _Dick watch helplessly as Tim fell for what seemed like forever. Dick couldn't turn away. Every fiber in his being told him to do so, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He knew the truth, but it was as though if he kept watching, somehow, someway, Tim would shoot off a line. If he kept staring and waiting, there would still be hope…there would still be life. The tears started falling before he even knew it, and people had started to gather. There were flashing lights, and still he couldn't bring himself to turn away. Dick just stood there waiting.

Barbara heard the news on the police scanner. She couldn't get a hold of Dick, so she contacted Bruce to go check it out. She had heard reports of it being Tim, but she didn't want them to be true. The reports couldn't be true. Tim had just gotten back. Batman made his was to the location. When he got there Dick was still standing on the rooftop just staring. He landed beside Dick, and slowly led him away.

Dick was shaking slightly. "My fault…it's all my fault."

Batman may have been the one to show up, but it was Bruce who spoke. "Son, it was not your fault, whatever happened it is not, and never will be, your fault. Come on, we need to get you home."

Dick's head dropped. "It's not home without Tim."

The End


End file.
